?

Log in

Apr. 10th, 2005 @ 02:40 pm Intro and Question
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Superchic[k], One Girl Revolution
Hi, I'm Eppy and I'm a PK ::grins:: My Mom is that Pastor, and we're Nazarene. I'm 18, btw. Anyway, I had a question for ya'll: I feel really uncomfortable during prayer services asking for a prayer request (or to have hands laid on me) because my mom is the pastor. It just doesn't feel right, and then I think I'm going to get questioned when I get home. I'm dealing with some hard, private stuff and I'd like some spiritual advice, but I sure can't go to my mom about it! Our church is small, and we don't have assistant pastors or anything, so there's really nothing much I can do.

Have any of you had this problem? Suggestions?

Thanks,

Eppy
About this Entry
anne/diana beach
lizzypaul:
[User Picture Icon]
From:oxfireandrainxo
Date:April 10th, 2005 09:54 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
hey! and welcome!

i've definately had this problem, cause I don't want to talk to my dad about personal type issues, but we don't have assistant preists at my church either. Do you have a youth leader you could talk to? That's who I would go to. Or just anyone in the church you know you could trust and who could direct you.

as to the prayers and stuff...I hate praying in public cause I feel like I should be great at it since i'm a pk. So, I guess I can relate...? :)

Hope I helped!
-liz
[User Picture Icon]
From:lizzypaul
Date:April 10th, 2005 10:02 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Yeah, I totally agree about the praying out loud thing. It's hard to strike a balance between dorky and pretentious. Grr.

We don't actually have a youth pastor at our church (we have three teens--me and my two brothers) and when we get more, it's pretty much decided that my dad will be the youth pastor (he was the youth pastor at our former, much bigger church). Oh well.

[User Picture Icon]
From:oxfireandrainxo
Date:April 10th, 2005 10:06 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
oh.

is there any adult in the church you could talk to then?
or even a teacher? i know the guidanec counselor at my school is a christian who i could talk to about spiritual stuff.
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 10th, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oooh, me me me! *hand up!*

I can REALLY relate, actually. My mother is a pastor and an extremely conservative one at that. Imagine the sort of things I went through with her and the sort of guilt I felt when my sexual orientation was quite, er, closeted. (She was the LAST person I wanted to tell and in fact, I never told her. She did some sleuthing behind my back and found it out for herself via the internet on a forum where I was expressing my fears of telling her, but her utter disregard for my privacy is another matter entirely.)

I went through a LOT of spiritual dilemmas and so did my SO (who I've known for almost a decade and have "officially" been with for 22 months). Imagine thinking that God hates you even though he made you a certain way; it's not exactly healthy for your mental well-being. I was told similar things all my life, that being gay is a sin, all gays go to Hell, that every last one of them is promiscuous and riddled with sexual diseases, that it's a "choice". From experience I can say that no, it's not. Who would want to choose to be marginalized by society and treated like a second-class citizen?

It's taken me a long time to find peace and I'm still trying to smooth out the frayed edges.

All I can say, though, is that I'm finally happier than I ever have been after a LOT of prayer and a LOT of thinking. I just happen to be a woman whose one-and-only is another woman, but I know that God loves me even if a large portion of Christianity doesn't. I will admit that it's turned me off to the organised church, though, and it's extremely difficult for me to find a place where I feel comfortable.
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 10th, 2005 10:23 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Pardon, hope this wasn't shocking. I tend to be very open about things now.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lizzypaul
Date:April 10th, 2005 11:28 pm (UTC)

YES!

(Permanent Link)
Whee! Another lesbian PK!!! Yes, that's exactly the problem I have, except I told my mom when I was 14. I wasn't sure how she'd react. She didn't believe me, which was better than her hating me or kicking me out of the house. She's made it quite clear that I have to be closeted at church.

So, like, it's really hard when I'm struggling with issues like "Does God love me?" and "What do I do?" and "Am I still a Christian", etc. On top of the normal confusion that any teen has about college and what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Plus, I find it really weird that my mom is a pastor in a conservative denomination, where a lot of people say that biblically women can't be pastors, and she won't even consider that biblically homosexuality isn't even as big a deal as the subservience of women. I feel sometimes like I'm banging my head against a wall.

Needless to say, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this (besides internet ppl). And, like I said, I'm uncomfortable getting prayer in church, for a lot of reasons, this being one of them.

Um, do you have AIM or are you comfortable e-mailing? I'd love to talk more with you about this.

Thanks!

Eppy
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 10th, 2005 11:38 pm (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
WHOO, I wondered if that's what it was!

Emailing's fine right now; I'm not on my public IM name because I'm working on a paper.

My email: thebluejackal (at) gmail (dot) com
My public AIM for when I'm on it: WhiteRosePhoenix

And a random question.

Your, uh, LJ name and the nickname "Eppy" wouldn't have anything to do with Elizabeth Paula Shelby, would it? o.o;;
[User Picture Icon]
From:lizzypaul
Date:April 10th, 2005 11:59 pm (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
OH MY GOSH!!! You are so totally the first person who got it! You win the internet. I'm so into that book series (even though Enterprise killed my Star Trek love), and Peter David is, like, one of my fav. authors.

btw your Gravitation (it is gravitation, right?) is uber cool. I made one, but its...really stupid. And not very clear. I'm really not good at the icon making.
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 11th, 2005 12:24 am (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
Yay, I won the internet!

PAD is my favorite author. EVAR. The first book of his that I read (Q-Squared) got me hooked onto Star Trek again YEARS after I'd stopped watching it. And now I'm a die-hard Trekker. Of course, way back when in middle school (I'm 21 now, so this should say something, HA) when the New Frontier series first started coming out, of COURSE I jumped right on it.

Mackenzie Calhoun is my hero. I'd like to think I AM him sometimes in my more bastardly sorts of moods. But...I think my all-time favorite character from that series is Slon, Selar's brother. He makes me all kinds of gigglyhappy with his Vulcan-ness and sarcasm and gayness. HAHAHA. Best. Character. Ever. Calhoun is actually a pretty stock hero character (in spite of his quirks) that certainly may be a product of PAD's comic-writing background. But hey. I love him anyway.

Love Burgy, too. I went to a Trek convention as a Hermat one year. ^_^ Felt great. I swear I'm mentally bigendered.

Have you read any of PAD's other books like Knight Life or Sir Apropos of Nothing? Gah, those are great.

Unfortunately, college has caused me to get behind on New Frontier. I'll catch up after I graduate. I can't not do it. I MUST KNOW THINGS.


And YAY, GRAVITATION! I snitched the base off of a free-bases site and just put a border around it. I thought it was too beautiful for any text, although I thought long and hard about it.
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 11th, 2005 12:27 am (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
Oh, and to be perfectly honest, Eppy is probably my least favorite character. ^_^; Gets on my nerves sometimes. But that "Look! Colors!" line is the best thing ever.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lizzypaul
Date:April 11th, 2005 12:33 am (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
My friend and I would RPG New Fonteir when we were younger. We used the handles that connected to mum's pots for phasers. I was always Eppy. I just loved her. She was such a strong female character.

But yeah, when Slon was introduced I just fell in love. I have all the new books, so if you want to borrow I can send them two you. Share the love, I say. And yes, he's one of my favs, though I've only read his star trek and supergirl (have you read supergirl? BEST COMIC EVER!!!).
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 10th, 2005 11:40 pm (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
OH! And can I friend you? Heh.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lizzypaul
Date:April 11th, 2005 12:00 am (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
Sure. I would like to friend back...but...I don't know how? Yeah, I'm LJ-moronic. So sad.
[User Picture Icon]
From:eat_my_feathers
Date:April 11th, 2005 12:26 am (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
Okay, lessee if I can't lead you through this....

Go to:
http://www.livejournal.com/friends/add.bml?user=eat_my_feathers

And hit the "Add" button. ^_^
[User Picture Icon]
From:lizzypaul
Date:April 11th, 2005 12:29 am (UTC)

Re: YES!

(Permanent Link)
Yea! I swear, I tried for so long to figure it out. Then I decided it wasn't worth it.

[User Picture Icon]
From:chia_rhino
Date:April 11th, 2005 05:25 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
First of all, yay on the Peter David love going on!

Second -

How big of a town do you live in? You could always contact a pastor at another church within the same denomination.